


Care What It Cost

by MissjuliaMiriam



Category: Star Wars Legends: Jedi Apprentice Series - Jude Watson & Dave Wolverton, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: (UNINTENTIONAL BUT IT HAPPENS), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Happy Ending, Mental Health Issues, Obi-Wan Being A Good Brother, Qui-Gon Jinn's A+ Parenting, Qui-Gon Lives, possibly a Bittersweet Ending depending on your perspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-04 17:30:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12173493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissjuliaMiriam/pseuds/MissjuliaMiriam
Summary: Five years after Naboo, Obi-Wan becomes aware that things between Anakin and Qui-Gon have become... tense. The obvious solution is to mediate their difficulties if at all possible.That is not what happens.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hahaha oh my god what am i DOING i need to stop joining new fandoms. (i actually joined this fandom a while ago this is just the first time i've written something for it that i'm willing to show to anyone.)
> 
> For those who love Qui-Gon, this fic doesn't portray him... super generously? Like I'm not gonna villainize the man, but he needs a lot more fucking therapy than he's had before he gets put in charge of any more small impressionable boys. This is some serious Batman and Robin(s) shit at this point, which makes Anakin Damian Wayne, and that's just. That's just a hot mess, is what it is. (Aaaaand now I want to write that AU, it works too well, god DAMN it.)
> 
> Title from 26, by Paramore.
> 
> Anyway. Enjoy this fucking almost-entirely-dialogue clusterfuck. I'm so sorry.

Anakin is tense today. Obi-Wan notices it immediately – he's always had a good eye for the boy's emotional state, even when he had just met him and was trying very hard to ignore that he existed at all, never mind that he might be distressed. Best, he had thought at the time, to leave that to his master, the man who wanted to be Anakin's master.

He's learned, since, that Qui-Gon does not pay nearly as much attention to Anakin than Obi-Wan himself does, and Obi-Wan is only in the temple every few weeks, sometimes less, between missions. In the last year, Obi-Wan suspects that things have gotten considerably worse between master and new padawan as Anakin grew into his teenage looks – and his teenage temper. He's no charmer, Padawan Skywalker, not as smooth a talker as even Obi-Wan was at that age, never mind Xanatos, but he's a good-looking brat with a wide smile and an eye for pretty girls. He also has more than a few sometimes less-than-friendly rivalries with other padawans. Obi-Wan remembers what it was like, of course. Becoming a padawan had saved him from the worst of it, but for those padawans who are somewhat more Temple-bound, as Anakin has been while Qui-Gon crammed 10 years worth of Jedi education into him, Initiate rivalries tend to continue. Bant had complained about Aalto to Obi-Wan plenty of times in their early teens. And now Anakin was coming up against the same phenomenon, with a Master who is as utterly lacking understanding now as he had been of Obi-Wan's conflict with Bruck Chun, more than a decade ago.

It's been five years since Obi-Wan was knighted in the wake of his defeat of the Sith on Naboo and the twenty-five day coma Qui-Gon had fallen into. Obi-Wan had taken charge of Anakin during those few weeks, trying to mentally and emotionally prepare himself to become the boy's Master if (or when, as it had seemed at the time) the healers declared Qui-Gon brain dead and one with the Force, and turned off the life support. But they hadn't. Qui-Gon had recovered, and taken on Anakin. Between his recovery and the needs of Anakin's education, they'd been trapped at the Temple for more than a year without escape. Since then, Qui-Gon had been taking Anakin into the field as often as possible, which was not, of course, as often as he might have liked.

It provided Obi-Wan with the opportunity to see both his old master and Anakin. The former he had struggled to speak with. Too many things lay between them, it seemed, for Obi-Wan to have any peace in interaction with Qui-Gon. With Anakin, though, things were a little simpler. It was easy enough to play the older brother padawan that he himself had never had, to spar with the boy, teach him Force tricks that Masters perhaps did not approve of, and trade tips on interesting profanities in alien languages. And Obi-Wan has come to know Anakin well in that time. So: he can tell that the boy, today, is tense.

The salle Obi-Wan has booked is a private one, mercifully. He'd only really wanted such because he himself is becoming known in the Temple as a duelist to watch, and he dislikes the audience... all the time, actually, but especially when with Anakin. They need to make no preparations on arriving other than the removal of lightsabers from their belts and the customary bow, and then Obi-Wan launches into a rapid Ataru assault.

Anakin startles. Obi-Wan has chosen to take up Soresu as his preferred form, as he no longer has someone else by his side on missions to guard the gaps in defence that Ataru leaves, so this is unexpected. As Obi-Wan was counting on, Anakin is immediately on the back foot, defensive and off-balance.

As Anakin has been trained in a mix of Qui-Gon's preferred Ataru and his own powerful Djem So, defensive is not how he wants to be. He becomes frustrated quickly.

Obi-Wan smirks. "What?" he asks, and laughs when he parries a sloppy blow. "Perhaps you should pick up some Soresu, Anakin!"

"I do fine," Anakin growls, and slips around to Obi-Wan's side. He attempts an overhand slam, but Obi-Wan parries it easily, stepping into a Soresu stance, and settles himself beneath Anakin's barrage. Still relatively untrained as Anakin is, he cannot find a gap in Obi-Wan's defenses.

"Clearly not," Obi-Wan observes in a mellow tone. He fends off another attack almost casually. Then, lightning-quick, he jabs forward to score a burn on Anakin's arm.

Anakin falls back with a small cry. He rallies quickly, though, and attempts an Ataru leap. Tired as he is, it's a sloppy maneuver.

Obi-Wan sees the opportunity. With the Force he reaches out and snags Anakin's ankle, loose from his body, and pulls him out of the tight flip. Anakin slams face first into the mats with a grunt.

"You have much to learn still, padawan," Obi-Wan says, mild.

To his surprise - or not - Anakin doesn't get up right away. Instead he rolls over on the mats and flings his lightsaber aside. "Sure," he says, staring up at the ceiling. It sounds like the agreement of a person who is agreeing because if they try to argue, they'll begin to cry instead. The agreement of a person who has heard certain words so many times that resistance is futile.

"Ah," Obi-Wan says, and turns off his own blade, then comes to kneel at Anakin's side. "Having issues with your master, Anakin?"

Anakin closes his eyes.

"You can tell me," Obi-Wan says. "I'm sure I can empathize, no matter what it is he's done this time."

Anakin just shakes his head. Now a few tears do slip from beneath closed eyelids, no matter how hard he clenches his eyes shut, and he flings an arm up over his face to try to hide them.

"Ah," Obi-Wan says again, softer this time. He slides an arm under Anakin's neck and across his shoulders, and hauls the boy up into an awkward half-hug. "It'll be okay, padawan. Let it out."

Anakin makes a choked noise into his shoulder, and says, "I have so much still to _learn_ , Obi. I don't want to leave."

The return of a nickname Obi-Wan hasn't heard since just after Anakin's eleventh birthday startles him, and the words that follow only intensify it. Anakin has turned into his arms, and Obi-Wan holds him close, lets him cry for long minutes. When he seems to have calmed a little, Obi-Wan gently pushes him away so that he can look into Anakin's red-rimmed blue eyes.

"Why would you leave?" he asks.

"I think Master Qui-Gon's going to repudiate me," Anakin whispers, and looks away like he's ashamed.

Obi-Wan draws a sharp breath. "Why would you think that?"

"He's just... he's said some things. About how I–I never learn, how if I can't get my emotions under control, if I don't _change_ , I'm going to Fall. He said, _no worthy padawan would ever have such anger_."

Obi-Wan can imagine the words in their master's mouth easily enough. "I see," he says. "What else?"

"I... I don't know. He closed the bond."

"He _what_?" Obi-Wan blurts, shocked. The bond between master and padawan is... sacred. Yes, Qui-Gon had closed the gateway between his and Obi-Wan's minds a few times, but only when Qui-Gon himself was on the edge of Falling, or... or when Obi-Wan had threatened to leave the Order. So, perhaps Anakin was not so far off base indeed. "Oh, padawan."

"He _hates_ me," Anakin whispers, and hides his face in Obi-Wan's shoulder once more. "I'm not... I'm too angry, and I'm not good at meditating, and I'm bad at diplomacy, and I keep failing my Core History quizzes, and I _miss my mom_. I'm never going to be a Jedi."

"Anakin--"

"What'll happen to me, Obi-Wan?" Anakin asks, his voice still muffled. "Will they send me back to Tattooine?"

" _No_ ," Obi-Wan says fiercely. "Never. And your difficulties are no fault of yours, Anakin. You are a fourteen year old boy who did not grow up in our Order, you had a difficult childhood, and Qui-Gon should be _helping_ you, not heaping fault on you for things that are beyond your control."

Anakin leans away, startled anew by the vehemence of Obi-Wan's words.

"Qui-Gon Jinn is an excellent Jedi," Obi-Wan says, "but he is not always such a good master."

"What?" Anakin says, then, "No, Obi-Wan, wait, no, it's not like that. He's a good master, I'm just... I'm just a failure. I'm sorry. I shouldn't..."

"You _should,_ " Obi-Wan says. "You have every right to feel confused and hurt and afraid. Come, padawan – meditate with me for a moment, and then we'll talk."

Anakin swallows, whispers a soft assent, and rearranges himself obediently onto his knees in front of Obi-Wan, so close that their bent knees touch. Obi-Wan takes a centring breath, then lets himself slip easily into meditation. Anakin, across from him, struggles. Obi-Wan can feel the turbulence in the Force now, as clearly as if the Force around them were a bell that Anakin's emotions had struck, and now it rings, vibrating around them. The power of Anakin's feelings creates immense resonance in the Force, something Obi-Wan has always been sensitive to; he's sure Qui-Gon feels it all the more intensely, in tune with the Living Force as he is. But the distance of the Unifying Force allows Obi-Wan to keep his own mind separate, and then he extends a faint tendril of stillness to Anakin.

Anakin grasps onto it eagerly, lets Obi-Wan's calm suppress his own agitation, as if setting a calm hand on the surface of that vibrating bell. The calm comes slowly, but Obi-Wan feels it as Anakin manages something resembling serenity, his confusion fading first, then the residual frustration from their spar, and then the worst of the grief and fear. Not all of it – some lingers, and Obi-Wan knows that there will be more work needed than a single meditation to fully settle Anakin's mind. Still, Anakin had found his focus in calm quickly, without as much assistance as Obi-Wan had assumed he might need.

"Good," Obi-Wan murmurs. He feels, through their slim connection, the flare of surprised pleasure in Anakin at the praise. He remembers the same feeling in himself during his own padawan days, a result of Qui-Gon's sparse compliments.

"Thank you, master," Anakin mumbles as they come out of the meditation. A customary response, one trained into Anakin in the last years, and Anakin flushes a little when he realizes he's said it to Obi-Wan and not to Qui-Gon. "Er," he says, "sorry."

"It's alright, Anakin," Obi-Wan says. "Now. We have options, but letting this situation lie is not one of them."

"Are you _sure_?" Anakin asks plaintively.

"Yes."

Anakin sighs.

" _Ana_ kin."

"Sorry, Obi-Wan."

"Indeed." Obi-Wan smiles, then. "Either way, I think I'll be having words with dear old Master Jinn. You don't need to be there if you don't want, but I would like you to be. You don't need to say anything yourself. Alternatively, we can surpass him for now, and speak directly to the Council – you do not deserve to be treated as if you could Fall at any moment, when in fact you are doing excellently in your studies, especially considering your unusual beginnings."

"The – the _Council_?" Anakin says.

"Yes, Anakin. Part of their duty is to assist in master-padawan conflicts, which are not usually so easily resolved if they crop up," Obi-Wan says. "Most master-padawan pairs are serendipitous in the Force and as such, if there _are_ issues, they are more major than a squabble or a petty disagreement. Qui-Gon and I had such problems at times during my apprenticeship, but we never brought them before the Council. Usually the Force intervened somehow, such was the strength of our bond _within_ the Force. That or Yoda stuck his nose in."

Anakin snickers. "Hard to tell the difference sometimes."

Obi-Wan smiles. "Yes. Still, I wish I had been more willing to bring my struggles to them. The Council is there to be a resource to the Order and to guide us as individuals, not only as a whole."

"... I don't think they like me much, though," Anakin says.

"They like you fine," Obi-Wan says. "I've heard good things about your abilities with the 'saber from Master Windu just yesterday, in fact, and he was pleased to hear that we would be sparring today."

"Why do they always frown at me, then?"

"I suspect that it's actually Qui-Gon they're frowning at," Obi-Wan says. "They don't like _him_ much, that I know for sure."

"Oh."

Obi-Wan smiles. "So. We will speak to Master Jinn, but him first, or the Council first?"

"... Master first, I think," Anakin says, and looks at Obi-Wan a bit shyly. "I don't... really want to get the Council involved if we don't need to. I bet you can talk to him. And I'd be okay with being there."

"I will certainly try," Obi-Wan says. He reaches out and ruffles Anakin's hair. "Let's shower, then, and we'll go talk to your Master. You smell like a nerf."

"Hey!" Anakin protests, and Obi-Wan rolls away from his swat, laughing, and darts for the showers, Anakin on his heels.

 

* * *

 

Obi-Wan doesn't bother with the doorchime. Anakin lives here, and anyway, his code still works. Qui-Gon didn't bother to reprogram their door to keep him out when Obi-Wan moved into his shoebox Knight's quarters, which Obi-Wan only knows because he'd brought Anakin back once when he fell asleep on Obi-Wan's couch after an exhausting spar and a large dinner.

Qui-Gon is sitting on the couch with a datapad when Obi-Wan strides in, and he raises and eyebrow at his stone-faced former padawan. "Hello, Obi-Wan," he says, and glances behind him to where Anakin is standing with hunched shoulders. "Padawan."

"Hello, master," Anakin says, subdued.

"Hm," Obi-Wan says, drawing Qui-Gon's attention back to himself.

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon begins, his tone moderately chiding.

Obi-Wan holds up a hand to cut him off. "I heard something interesting today," Obi-Wan says mildly. "Tell me if you've heard this one before: a Jedi Master with a maverick reputation takes on a powerful young boy whom he had Searched out on his home planet and taken from his parent, to train him. He has high expectations for the boy, who is charming and strong in the Force. The Council is hesitant, but they ultimately allow the pairing – the master, after all, has always been known to follow the will of the Force above all else.

"But something goes wrong. The boy turns out to be... angry. Arrogant, some might say. And too attached to his home, even after years away."

"Obi-Wan–" Qui-Gon interjects, sounding irritated.

"I'm not done." Obi-Wan's voice is quiet but definite. "The Master was oblivious, you see, to the growing turmoil in his shining pupil. The boy could do no wrong – until he did. To the Master's eyes, the boy turned on a time, betrayed his Master, and abandoned the Jedi Order for good. And, as he did so, he Fell to the Dark Side."

Behind him, Anakin draws him a sharp breath. Obi-Wan reaches out along the lingering hairline bond between them to offer soothing emotion, even as he keeps talking. "Something tells me, Master Jinn, that this is not a story that Anakin has heard before. So let me finish it."

Qui-Gon is sitting stone silent, his jaw tight. He says nothing, and Obi-Wan smiles.

"Years pass. The Master is reluctant to train another boy after what happened to the first, but he comes around – but that's not what this story is about. No, the important part comes even later than that. More than a decade after the first shining boy Fell and eventually died, a new child comes along. Just as gifted, just as charismatic and burning like a star in the Force. The Master does not see, at first, the parallels. The new boy comes from slavery, not from nobility. There is no arrogance in him, only confidence and unselfconscious power. The Master sees signs of greatness once again, and with no hesitation, he casts aside his current padawan to take on the new boy. He _must_ be the one to train him.

"He gets his wish. His old padawan becomes a knight and steps aside quietly. The Master takes the boy as his new padawan. Things are good for a time. The master is able to expand the boy's potential exponentially – only confirming to himself what he initially believed: that the boy is the Child of the Force, the Chosen One. But, as with all things, it doesn't last. The boy turns out to have a temper. He doesn't get along with other Jedi all that well, and he struggles with classroom learning. He is wilful and resistant to Jedi teachings and _any_ teachings. He and the master clash.

"And soon the master is thinking: haven't I seen this before? He sees the signs where before he was blind. So perhaps, just perhaps, he'll put a stop to this all before it goes too far."

"I have no intention of repudiating Anakin," Qui-Gon says, his voice nearly a growl.

"That is not what Anakin believes."

"Anakin is a _child_ ," Qui-Gon says, "who does not know how to let go of his insecurities."

"Because you have not taught him," Obi-Wan says quietly. "As you failed to teach me. Because, perhaps, it was a lesson you taught _too well_ to Xanatos."

"Xanatos has nothing to do with this."

"Xanatos has _everything_ to do with this!" Obi-Wan shouts. His voice rings in the sudden silence of the quarters that were his home for nearly a decade. "And you karking know it, Qui-Gon Jinn."

Qui-Gon has fallen sullenly silent again, so Obi-Wan takes the opening and tears in, his tone a cutting blade. "He had everything to do with your refusal to take me as a padawan, he had everything to do with every issue we ever had, and he has everything to do with your problems with Anakin now. Anakin _is not_ Xanatos, Qui-Gon. He does not deserve to be treated as if he is, just as I did not deserve to be rejected for justifiable adolescent anger."

"You learned to _control_ your anger, Obi-Wan."

"Yes! Because once upon a time you were a man who was willing to teach such things to a frightened, frustrated boy who knew no better." Obi-Wan meets his former master's eyes, somewhat surprised that the man had yet to stand and try to intimidate Obi-Wan into dropping the argument. "You saw a flaw in the child you had imagined to be perfect and now you are dropping him like a hot rock, Qui-Gon."

"You make it sound as if my reservations are petty," Qui-Gon says. "But I have much more experience with the Falling and Fallen than you do, padawan. I will not deny that I have my hesitations about the way Anakin is developing–" he looks at Anakin, then, but only for a moment before turning his gaze back on Obi-Wan "–but not for no reason, and, in any case, my concerns are no concern of yours."

"They are when they are causing my brother padawan such grief," Obi-Wan says. "I am a Knight in my own right now. You cannot deny me my right to intervene if I suspect an abuse of power, and that is what I see."

Qui-Gon's lips thin. "I have not abused my padawan."

"Not yet. You have caused him grief and fear, however; your actions have brought him closer to the Dark than any intrinsic trait of personality that I have witnessed."

"You believe you know my padawan better than I?" Qui-Gon shakes his head, and now he _does_ rise from his seat. He towers over Obi-Wan by a head, and Anakin by more. "I believe that this is not your business any more, Obi-Wan. Get out of my quarters, and leave me to discuss these matters with my padawan."

"I would rather not." Obi-Wan crosses his arms, and is conscious of the fact that Anakin has shrunk behind him, only by a fraction, but enough. "Your padawan fears you, Master Jinn. I will not leave you two alone together."

"I would never harm him."

"Not physically," Obi-Wan acknowledges. "But you have already harmed him emotionally. It is clear to me from your response that you are in no position to repair your relationship on your own; I demand that this issue be brought before the Council."

"The _Council_?" Qui-Gon scoffs. "We do not need them to resolve this. Anakin, come here."

At Obi-Wan's back, Anakin hesitates. "I..."

" _Anakin_."

"Sorry, Master," Anakin whispers. "I know you wouldn't hit me, but..."

"It's alright," Obi-Wan says, and pointedly turns his back on Qui-Gon to place his hands on Anakin's shoulders. "Master Jinn would never harm you. What do you want?"

"I just... want someone else here when we're sorting this out. He never _listens_ to me."

"Okay." Obi-Wan glances back at Qui-Gon, whose face is pale, with rage or realization Obi-Wan cannot tell, so controlled is the man's expression.

"You seem to have him well in hand," Qui-Gon says, his voice cold. "Was this all a farce to steal my padawan from me, Knight Kenobi?"

Obi-Wan shakes his head. "That was never my intention."

"And yet you seem so sure that you know better than I how best Anakin should be trained."

"Perhaps I do," Obi-Wan says. "Thank you for the suggestion." And then he reaches to his belt and pulls his comm unit from its pouch. He taps in the code he wants, and a moment later, a chime of connection.

"Mace Windu," the voice on the other end says. "Knight Kenobi, why are you calling me? It's the middle of dinner hour."

"I request that you assemble the Council," Obi-Wan says, his voice quiet but resolute. He doesn't take his eyes off Qui-Gon. "I wish to contest Master Qui-Gon Jinn's right and ability to train Padawan Anakin Skywalker."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter in a couple days. It's written, I'm just terrible and am holding out on you.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The update, as promised! It is. It is so much dialogue. I am sorry.
> 
> I hope this lives up to all the hype that y'all have been generating in the comments - and thank you so much for that, by the way! Comments give me life.
> 
> Enjoy!

Inside of an hour, Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, and Anakin are standing in the centre of the Council chamber. Qui-Gon has a thunderous scowl on his face, his arms crossed. Obi-Wan stopped at his room to change into fresh tunics, and fetched a robe, as well; he’s wearing the dark cloak primarily to hide within the voluminous sleeves the fact that he’s worrying a loose thread at the wrist of his tunic anxiously. Anakin he had left with Qui-Gon, also to change, and though the boy’s face is pale he doesn’t seem any more distressed. Obi-Wan can only assume that Qui-Gon didn’t say anything to him, which is protocol: a master whose right to their padawan has been brought to Challenge is supposed to limit contact with their padawan until the issue is resolved. There’s a reason the Council was assembled in less than an hour in the middle of the day, when surely almost all of them had been busy with other matters. In fact, they’d been assembled so quickly that several of the Council Masters look mildly curious as to what’s happening.

“Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi,” Mace begins, opening the meeting. “You have called us together to hear your Challenge of Master Qui-Gon Jinn’s right to the tutelage of Padawan Anakin Skywalker.”

Several sharp breaths are drawn around the room, and in Obi-Wan’s peripheral vision, he sees Master Koon sit forward intently, as does Master Billaba.

“Yes, Master Windu,” Obi-Wan confirms.

“Present your case, please, Knight Kenobi.”

Obi-Wan takes a steadying breath. “Yes, Master. As you may know, Padawan Skywalker and I routinely spend time together when I am on-planet between missions. He is my brother padawan, and though I have not remained quite so close with my former master, Padawan Skywalker and I have built a strong relationship. I have become aware, however, of some growing tension between the padawan and his – and my own former – master. Given that Master Jinn and I had our own troubles at times during my apprenticeship, I chose to let it lie. Today, however, Padawan Skywalker disclosed to me something that disturbed me greatly: that he was of the belief that Master Jinn was on the verge of repudiating him.”

Another round of sharply indrawn breaths.

“What did Padawan Skywalker offer as the explanation for such fears?” Master Koon asks. He nods at Anakin to acknowledge him, but the question is directed at Obi-Wan; they all will be until they are sufficiently satisfied that they have heard Obi-Wan’s side of the story.

“He recounted Master Jinn’s typical attitude toward him, criticisms have been voiced, and also informed me that Master Jinn has closed the training bond between their minds.”

Obi-Wan can’t see all the members of the Council, but he sees sharp looks sent Qui-Gon’s way from those in front of him, and from the rising tension in the Force he suspects that there are similar expressions on the faces of those behind him.

“I did what I could in the moment to sooth Ana– Padawan Skywalker’s insecurities,” Obi-Wan says. “And to reassure him that he belongs in this Order; that no matter what came of the issue with his master, he would not be returned to slavery on Tattooine.”

This time it’s Qui-Gon who shifts, and when Obi-Wan glances at him in his peripheral vision, he looks uncomfortable. Good, Obi-Wan thinks.

“Did you speak to Master Jinn about this issue?” Master Windu asks.

“Yes. Master Jinn was… not receptive to criticism,” Obi-Wan says. “Nor to my accusation that his issues with Padawan Skywalker, particularly the padawan’s temper and emotionality, stem from prior trauma inflicted by Xanatos duCrion. He claimed that he had no intention of repudiating Padawan Skywalker, but he also refused to acknowledge that the padawan’s fears were valid, given his behaviour. He continued to insist that his concerns about Padawan Skywalker’s development had merit, and when I claimed that his distance and disdain for the padawan’s struggles were causing him harm, he dismissed me. His exact words, I believe, were that he ‘has much more experience with the Falling and the Fallen than I do’.”

Master Windu purses his lips. Beside him, Master Yoda clasps his hands in his lap. “On a path to Falling, do you see Padawan Skywalker?” Master Yoda asks.

“ _No_ ,” Obi-Wan says, his vehemence such that his voice rings in the chamber like a shout, although he did not raise his voice. “He struggles with anger, and his emotions echo loudly in the Force. But he did not grow up in the Temple, and his control, lacking that benefit, is excellent. I do not believe he is Falling. But I know that he is in turmoil right now because of this, and that is dangerous. Especially for one who feels as strongly as he does, and who yet fully learned what it is to give his feelings over to the Force.”

“I have _tried_ to teach him!” Qui-Gon bursts out. “You cannot blame me for–”

“Master Jinn,” Master Windu cuts in, his voice commanding, “hold your tongue. You will have your moment to speak.”

“Thank you, Master Windu,” Obi-Wan says. He clears his throat. “Near the end of my conversation with Master Jinn, after mentioning that I believed this issue should be brought before the Council, he accused me of manufacturing or exaggerating the complaint in order to ‘steal his padawan for myself’. I had no intention of doing any such, but his statement served to remind me that a Challenge was possible, and in fact the proprietariness of his statement – the ego-driven nature of it – concerned me enough that I have chosen to Challenge. I do not believe that Master Jinn is emotionally fit to train Padawan Skywalker any longer. Due to both of their histories, Master Jinn’s motivations to take on Padawan Skywalker in the first place, and the compatibility of their abilities in the Force, I believe that it would be in both of their best interests in they were separated. I would be happy to elaborate on any of these aspects if you desire, Masters.”

Then Obi-Wan takes a deep breath and bows to the Council. When he rises, Master Windu nods at him, and there is a calm, reassuring gleam in Yoda’s eyes.

“Thank you, Knight Kenobi,” Master Windu says. Then he turns to Qui-Gon, and his expression hardens an infinitesimal amount. “Master Jinn. I’d like to hear your side of this story next. Do not attempt to lie to us.”

“I wouldn’t,” Qui-Gon protests, then he huffs. “And I will not lie now: I do not believe this is necessary. I freely admit that I have some concerns about my padawan’s temperament and his ultimate suitability for the life of a Jedi, but I was not considering repudiating him; such is an invention of his own.”

Anakin makes a small noise, as if he’s been wounded, and Obi-Wan, who has closed his eyes to allow greater focus on the currents of the Force in the room, feels an arrowing in of compassionate concern for him from all sides. He smiles faintly; this is why he wanted to be feeling the layers in the room, rather than searching for emotion on the impassive faces of the Council, more than half of whom are out of his range of vision in any case. He hopes Anakin can feel it too.

Qui-Gon plows onward, though he surely noticed the sound. “Padawan Skywalker is easily angered, and I have not been able to control him or teach him to control himself. His conflicts with other padawans and with older initiates have created disruptions in his education, which already lags due to his insistent disinterest in the areas of knowledge necessary for success as a mission-active Jedi. He is skilled with a lightsaber, but aggressive in spars and uncontrolled; he fights like a street brawler, not like a Jedi, which might keep him alive out in the galaxy but is not acceptable in the practice ring or in a formal bout with a peer, when someone might be – indeed, has been – injured.”

“These are common flaws for a young padawan,” Master Gallia points out mildly.

“They are also flaws that a young padawan knows are flaws and accepts that he must work on,” Qui-Gon says. “Anakin – Padawan Skywalker, that is – is stubbornly defensive and cannot improve his control. His failures reflect badly on him, and they have caused negative consequences for others, but he does not improve. I am aware that this is not necessarily his fault, but I also do not believe it to be a flaw in my teachings; he is simply unsuited for the path of a Jedi.”

“So you do intend to repudiate him,” Master Windu says.

“No, I– hells.” Qui-Gon shifts, and Obi-Wan opens his eyes to see him run a hand down his face. “I am willing to complete his training, but I believe that no matter what I might do in the next five, even ten years, he will fail his Trials. I am willing to take him to them if such is his wish, but my frustrations are valid.” Here he turns to glare at Obi-Wan. “Knight Kenobi accuses me of dismissing him, but he has dismissed me, as well; I have trained three padawans, two to Knighthood, and I believe my _history_ as he says has taught me to recognize a fundamental flaw and distinguish it from a correctable one.”

“You fail to practice compassion in speaking thus, Master Jinn,” Yaddle says, from around her side of the circle.

“Padawan Skywalker is not a bad person,” Qui-Gon says quietly. “He is not flawed in a way that would prevent him from living a good life, from being a good man and being happy. But I do not believe he will ever succeed as a Jedi. I do not believe he could ever find his peace in our Order. I do not wish to see him Fall to the Dark Side, which is why I have been so hard on him – I have only ever wanted for him to understand the seriousness of consequences should he continue to struggle, or _fail_ in that struggle. If it is possible for him, of course I would like to see him succeed, but I fear that it is not possible. And I have wanted him to consider that himself, and make whatever choice he feels is necessary once he has come to terms with reality. I, as the rest of you, only want the best for my padawan.”

“I see,” Master Windu says. “That explains, I suppose, your criticisms and your distance from your padawan. I understand the desire to show to him the reality of his situation and allow him to choose for himself, and I will tell you exactly how misguided I believe you are in a moment. First, though, I must demand an explanation of your having block your and Padawan Skywalker’s training bond, for that is a concrete infraction and must be addressed.”

Qui-Gon hesitates for a moment, then says, “That… that I cannot blame on Anakin. In this, at least, I should have sought outside help rather than punishing my padawan for my own failure, and for that, Anakin, I am sorry.” Qui-Gon sighs. “Padawan Skywalker’s presence in the Force can is exceptionally powerful, and he projects his thoughts and feelings naturally. Shielding, however, comes less naturally to him, and his emotional control is still weak. I have, at times, nearly been overwhelmed by him through our connection. Such a thing is… daunting for me, especially as my own control has been solid for many decades, and I had no such issues with my previous padawans. Feemor was already trained to shield well; Xanatos had good control over his emotions; and Obi-Wan – Knight Kenobi – shields intuitively. Rather than seeking help, I simply blocked the bond. It was wrong, I admit, and once I had done it I found myself unwilling to undo it before Padawan Skywalker’s control improved, nor was I willing to admit the transgression. I know it was wrong.”

“You realize,” Master Billaba says, “that for that alone we could cede the Challenge to Knight Kenobi. Blocking a bond without consent and good reason is an abuse, especially when you take into account that your padawan did not grow up in the Temple and did not understand the seriousness of what you have done to him.”

Qui-Gon doesn’t say anything at all to that. Master Billaba just sighs.

“I believe we’ve heard enough from Master Jinn,” Master Windu says. “I certainly have my own thoughts on all of this, and I will certainly share them before you make your decision, Padawan Skywalker, but first–”

“Me?” Anakin squeaks. Obi-Wan opens his eyes again and takes in Anakin’s wide eyes, slightly wet as if he’s been holding back tears. His upset has been echoing in the Force, soothed at the edges by the Council’s calm. “Sorry, I mean – what do you mean by _my_ decision, Master Windu?”

“Knight Kenobi brought this Challenge,” Master Windu says, “but it is your fate that is being decided, and ultimately the decision will be yours. I apologize for not explaining that earlier. To clarify, as I forget at times that you did not grow up with our customs: in a Challenge for right to a padawan’s tutelage, it is the Padawan who ultimately decides if they wish to remain with their current master; if they will request to be taught by the Challenger, should the Challenger be willing to take them on; or if they will request to be taught by some other master. In your case, Padawan Skywalker, I would recommend that you pass into the tutelage of one of the Council Masters, but I imagine that there are several of us who would be willing to complete your training. Myself at the very least.”

“I, as well,” Master Koon says, and Masters Tiin and Koth both nod in agreement. Obi-Wan, watching this, feeling the acceptance of the rest of the Council, feels an odd jolt of mixed surprise and dismay, and then further surprise at his own dismay. He’d said to Anakin that the Council didn’t dislike him, but he hadn’t realized… well. Still, this is a good option for Anakin: perhaps the ideal outcome, though of course he would have been happy to take on Anakin. Instead, he faces the idea of Anakin as a Council Master’s padawan and forces himself to reconcile with it.

“Oh,” Anakin says in a small voice. “Okay.”

Master Windu offers him the slightest smile, then says, “How are you feeling, young one?”

Anakin swallows. “Well, I think–”

Master Yaddle puts up a hand to interrupt. “Feeling, Padawan Skywalker. Your analysis we can have in a moment. First tell us what your heart says, and what the Force tells you.”

Oppo Rancisis, in Obi-Wan’s peripheral vision, looks slightly grumpy at her phrasing, but he doesn’t say anything; Obi-Wan restrains himself from turning to stare. A moment passes while Anakin gathers himself, and Obi-Wan takes the chance to close his eyes once more and sink back into the patterns of the Force, gauging the Council, and finds nothing but patient compassion.

“I guess I’m just… surprised? Mostly?” Anakin says. “I didn’t think that this would turn into such a big deal – I was _fine_. I mean, I was frustrated, and scared sometimes. I don’t want to go back to Tattooine, and I want to be a Jedi. I know…” He trails off, biting his lip. There’s a gently feeling of encouragement projected by Yaddle and some of the other Council members, and maybe someone gestures for him to go on. Finally he continues in a quiet voice, “I know I’m not as good as most of the other padawans my age. I know I’ll never be like my m-master, or like Obi-Wan – I mean, like Knight Kenobi. Sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Obi-Wan murmurs, and places a hand on Anakin’s shoulder.

“Thanks,” Anakin mutters. “Anyway, now that we’re talking about it, though, I guess I can understand why Obi-Wan was so upset. Master didn’t want me to fall to the Dark side, but the stuff he was saying to me was making me feel afraid and angry, like you say leads to the Dark side, Master Yoda.”

Master Yoda hums, then says, “Unfair to you, he was.”

“Yeah, I guess. And… some of the things he said – it’s not my fault. Like with my coursework.”

“How so?” Master Windu says.

“Well, I couldn’t read Basic when I came here, right? Or, uh, at all. Master Jinn taught me, but it’s still h _ard_ , and some of the stuff I have to read is… it takes a long time, and it’s _boring_ , and I don’t get it. And I never want to ask too many questions in case I get annoying; he's never gotten annoyed before, but you never know, you know? Better to play it safe and just... be stupid,” Anakin explains.

A soft pause, where Obi-Wan assumes Master Windu nodded.

“I know I get angry too much,” Anakin says. “I’m trying. And Master Jinn does try to teach me, it’s just… it’s hard. I’m not so good at meditating, usually, and since he closed the bond it’s harder for me to try to do what he does? Because I can’t feel it as well.” Obi-Wan hears the soft scuff as Anakin rubs the back of his head. “I guess mostly what I’m feeling is bad. For being… too much, I guess. Master Jinn is a good master, but maybe I’m not… good for him. And if it’ll help him not be overwhelmed, and if someone else will feel less frustrated and stressed dealing with me, I should maybe have a different master. But not because he’s bad! Just because us working together has so far gone a little like trying to attach plating with bolts that’re too short – you can press as hard as you want, try different tools, whatever… but it’s still kind of falling apart.”

There’s a long moment of silence, and Obi-Wan opens his eyes to join the Council in looking at Anakin. The boy shifts under all the attention, but bears up gracefully, his shoulders straight. At the beginning of this meeting, he’d looked like a kicked akk pup, but much less so now.

“Wisdom, you have, young one,” Master Yoda says. “Grateful, we are. Anything also to add, have you?”

Anakin shakes his head mutely.

“Thank you,” Master Windu says. “Please give the Council a moment to put together our thoughts.”

Anakin, Qui-Gon, and Obi-Wan all bow their heads politely, and then each member of the Council closes their eyes. Obi-Wan can feel the shifting currents of silent communication in the Force, each Council member sharing their thoughts and piecing together their individual conclusions to a cohesive whole. They don’t always do things this way -- they do it but rarely, in fact. But some matters require agreement, not debate, and Challenge is one of them. It takes long minutes, and by the end Anakin is looking nervous once more, enough so that Obi-Wan wishes to reach out again to comfort him. He doesn’t, though, knowing that Anakin will soon be making a difficult decision – despite his words, Obi-Wan knows that there is a good chance that Anakin could still choose to stay with his current master, and that, indeed, that may not be the wrong choice.

Finally, the Council emerges from their joint meditation. “I believe we have come to a consensus on what our wisdom is in this,” Master Windu says. “Padawan Anakin Skywalker, in the matter of the Challenge against your tutelage, we have this to say: you have at most four options, each with its own challenges and rewards.”

Master Rancisis speaks from his place in the circle. “First, you may remain with Master Qui-Gon Jinn. He is not, as you have said, a bad master, and there are many things that he may offer you that no other can. He believes, or believed, that you are the Chosen One of prophecy. He Searched you out, and knows your history. He is a Master of the Living Force, and can offer you a depth of learning in that area beyond almost any other master in this Order; your strength, I sense, is also with the Living Force. But he has done harm to you. His own history complicates his teaching, and his mental health has never been entirely stable due to issues that go deep into that history. Should you choose this option, the Council will mandate that he seek Mind Healing, and the pair of you will be bound to the Temple for some time and monitored to ensure that no further wrongs are committed, and both of you are healed.”

“For the second option,” Master Gallia says, “we must first turn to Knight Kenobi.”

“I would take him on,” Obi-Wan says immediately, and then flushes when she gives him a wry look. “I apologize, Master Gallia.”

“No need, Knight Kenobi,” she says. “Padawan Skywalker is a bright youngster and you care for him; your eagerness is understandable. The option, then, padawan, stands. You may choose Knight Kenobi as your master. He knows you well, and has taught you in the past. He is strong in the Unifying Force, and can offer you teachings very different than those that Master Jinn could offer; your polarized strengths in the Force could be of great benefit to you. He is insightful and grounded, a balance to your own fiery nature. But he is young and relatively inexperienced. There are things he may not be able to teach you, for he does not know them. He has never taught a student before, and having a first student is harder only than being a first student.”

“Third, you may become the padawan of a member of this Council,” Master Koon says. “Five among us would be willing to take you on: myself, Master Windu, Master Koth, Master Tiin, and Master Billaba. Each of us has different strengths that we might offer you. Each of us is a Jedi Master, skilled and wise enough to have been selected to sit on this Council, with a great deal of experience, as much as Master Jinn or more. Each of us could teach you things about the Order that you would not have the opportunity to learn as the padawan of a knight or master not of the Council. But each of us is also busy with other duties, and while we would of course prioritize your learning, there would be times when we would be forced to share your tutelage more than is the norm. Being a Council Padawan means you may never get as much field experience as you will eventually gain as Master Jinn or Knight Kenobi's padawan. You would also have certain standards of behaviour that you would be expected to uphold even within this Temple and among those of our Order, as you would represent a member of the Council and not just a Master.”

“A final option, there is,” Master Yoda says. “Step off the path to knighthood, you may. No shame there would be in choosing a different life. Honourable, the Jedi Service Corps are. For such a bright youngling, still an honourable life that would be. Become a pilot, you could. Or, leave our Order entirely, you could. Provided for, you would be. Money, you would be given. Found for you, a home would be. Your education, you could first complete; then seek a different life entirely, you could. But leave behind your lightsaber, you would. Leave behind the path of the Jedi Knight, you would, forever.”

Anakin nods seriously, and when Master Windu says, “What is your choice, Padawan Skywalker?” he takes a long time to think about it.

Obi-Wan has to look away after a moment, and he purposefully closes off his sense of Anakin’s thoughts. He doesn’t want to know the choice before it’s made. He knows full well that Anakin will not choose him – though he doesn’t think that Anakin will choose to leave the Order or join the Corps, either. But the offer of Council tutelage has to be tempting. Or the security of remaining with Qui-Gon, who after all has not been so bad. Just misguided, and it seems that the Council is bent on fixing that one way or the other. That much Obi-Wan is happy about. Though he’s grown apart from his former master, the rift created by hurt and the fear of loss never quite having healed, he does love Qui-Gon.

Anakin draws in a breath, and Obi-Wan looks up once more, facing forward steadily as he waits for the boy’s verdict.

“I…” says Anakin. “Can I… explain a little, first?”

“Certainly,” Master Windu says, with another of those slight smiles.

“Right,” Anakin says, letting out a breath. “This is hard for me, y’know? Even though things between Master Jinn and I have been hard, he’s been my master for five years. The reason he hurt me so bad when he said those things, earlier and before, is because I care what he thinks of me. But not enough to be willing to leave the Order – I’m meant to be here. I’m meant to be a Jedi. So I’m staying. I don’t think I should stay with Master Jinn, though.” He turns and bows deeply to Qui-Gon. “Thank you, Master, for everything. After today, I won’t be your padawan any more, but I hope I’ll still see you. I hope you’re not mad.”

“No, padawan,” Qui-Gon rumbles. He reaches out and brushes his hand tenderly over Anakin’s short-shorn hair, and then runs his fingers down the slender braid. “I’m sorry. There are many things I wish were different.”

“Including me,” Anakin says, and Qui-Gon closes his eyes, lets the braid drop from his fingers. He doesn’t contradict Anakin’s words, and Anakin nods, then turns back to Master Windu.

“So that leaves the Council, or Obi-Wan,” he says. “And… I have a lot of respect for the Council. I thought, basically up until today, that you guys kind of hated me, but the offers that all five Council masters have made to take me on… it means a lot. Everything you’ve done today means a lot. I know I could learn a lot from any of you, and that there are things I’ll never get if I turn you down.”

Obi-Wan forces himself not to betray it outwardly, but within he prepares for the blow of loss.

“But I want Obi-Wan to be my master.”

“What?”

A beat, and then Obi-Wan realizes that he’s the one who’s just blurted out that incredulous exclamation, and bows hurriedly to the Council. “Sorry,” he says. “Anakin, what? No. I… I would love to have you as my padawan, of course I would, but I wasn’t lying to Qui-Gon when I said that I wasn’t doing this to steal you.”

“I know,” Anakin says. “But this is what I want. I think you’ll be a good master, and I know we work pretty good together, and I trust you.”

“I… oh,” Obi-Wan says. He notices that Master Windu is looking unfortunately smug. “Oh. Alright, Anakin. I respect your choice.”

“Excellent,” Master Windu says. “Master Jinn, if you would remove your braid from the padawan’s hair?”

Qui-Gon nods, and reaches out once more, this time to undo the braid that he had first placed there five years ago. When he finishes, without further prompting Anakin turns to Obi-Wan, the long strands of hair hanging loose beside his face, the coloured bands that he has thus far earned gripped in his palm.

Obi-Wan opens his mouth to speak, and has to clear his throat before he can do so. “Anakin Skywalker,” he says, his voice rough with some wild emotion that he cannot name, “I take you as my Padawan Learner.”

Anakin bows his head, and with fumbling hands Obi-Wan rebraids his hair, carefully placing the ties back in order. When he finishes, Anakin looks him straight in the eye and says, “Thank you, master.”

Obi-Wan can only think to bow, first to Anakin and then to the Council. He hopes the look in his eyes when he meets Master Windu’s gaze is enough to convey his honour and his gratitude, for he has no words.

“Padawan Skywalker, Knight Kenobi, you are dismissed. Master Jinn, stay a moment – I have a few things to say to you,” Master Windu says, in a tone that does not bode well for the number of hours Qui-Gon is likely going to have to listen to him shout over the next tenday or so.

Anakin and Obi-Wan both bow once more, and make their way out of the doors. The moment they’re outside of the tower in which the Council Chamber makes its home, Obi-Wan has to find a bench a sit down. Anakin hurries over to sit next to him, a worried look on his face.

“Are you okay, master?” he says.

Obi-Wan laughs a little, and says, “Yes, padawan. I am quite okay. And I think that you will be, too.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> The working title of this fic was "obi wan steals anakin from qui gon and everything is better" lmao.
> 
> I can be found on Tumblr as motherfuckingnazgul, please come visit me.
> 
> Comments and kudos are welcome as always! I love to chat in the comments section, please love me.


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